Hi everyone! It’s actually really nice to be back into this writing 🖊️ mood again. As we begin writing during this new phase of my life, I like to point out that we’re still a work-in-progress. The thing about going through a transformation is that it requires time. The bigger the transformation, the more time and effort is going to be required. As for us, our multi-level professional transformation, alongside our whole personal identity shift has made it a super messy and ugly process. Needless to say, we know we need to give ourselves plenty of time to go through the necessary growth process. Like a tree 🌳 that is starting to grow, you can’t shout 🗣️ at it to make it grow any quicker. It will take whatever time it needs to grow and reach it’s fullest potential.
Over the last couple of months, we’ve been giving ourselves the time that was necessary to process all the different issues that had been resurfacing from our past life. Most of it has been deeply buried in our past. Some of it was simply ignored, while other issues were simply minimized so that we could stop thinking about it and move on. But here’s what I’ve come to understand about our past: The more we try to sweep those issues (i.e. mental, emotional or psychological) under the rug, the more “mental & emotional debt” we will incur over time. These unprocessed issues will eventually resurface, and we will be forced to deal with them. And yes, sometimes, they can resurface at the most inconvenient of times too.
I had a mountain of debt (both mentally, emotionally & psychologically).
For the first few of months of this new phase of my life, I knew that I had to be patient. The thing about facing & dealing with these deeply buried issues is that they rarely ever resurfacing according to our expected timeline. They will come when they decide to come, and it is down to us to be ready and face it head-on when it finally resurfaces.
Let’s be straight about something here: We’re far from dealing with the totality of our mental & emotional debt. After 20+ years of unresolved issues, I think it’s only fair to expected that some of those issues may only resurface, months, or even years from now. In my experience so far, I will say that those deeply buried issues are normally triggered by something that we least expect. You might find yourself reacting or feeling a certain way after seeing something or encountering something, and you’d be wondering, “Why did I react that way? Why was I frustrated earlier? What was that all about?”
That is usually the sign that something has been triggered. It is in those moments when we face a choice, “Am I going to figure this out? Or will I brush this under the rug yet again?”
Well, I know how exactly I will be responding. The last thing I need is to act in a way that will add to my mountain of mental & emotional debt.
Re-entering the World
After months of messiness & ugliness that comes with facing & dealing with unresolved issues, I’m honestly glad that we finally have this opportunity to re-enter the real world. This time, we’re entering the world, not as this “shell” version of who we are, but rather, as ourselves, whole, complete and unfiltered. The old “Weizhi” was more like this “less-than”, “toned down”, “acceptable”, or “approved” version of who we should be to the world and people around us. Instead of living as this whole, collective version, we were constantly picking and choosing to present ourselves as a part of who we are because that was the only way to truly “fit in”.
One of the things that makes us more confident about re-entering the world as “US” is thanks to the lessons, wisdom and new systems that we have created to help us interact with the world as “US”. One of those new systems is our THREE Core Philosophies, which you can read about in our “About” page. By practicing and applying these 3 core philosophies into our daily living, it has helped us to make some very meaningful and intentional decisions.
Intentionality Example #1: A View Worthy of an Industry Pioneer
The reason we have decided to come back to this familiar stomping grounds is because it holds a very specific and special meaning for us from a professional angle. This general area, which includes a few different areas are precisely where we have experienced our highest rate of success as a freelancer & consultant over the years. Out of 20 years of working on different projects with different clients, I’ve been to nearly every spot on his tiny island. But out of everywhere I’ve been, this particular area(s) has given me a solid 80% to 90% closing & completion rates.
So, what are these areas?
- Bugis/Bras Basah/North Bridge Road
- City Hall (including Funan)
- Suntec City
- Funan/Clarke Quay
Besides, this is still one of the best views from a location where it is not only free (no need to pay for a drink, or pastry just to rent a seat), but it also allows us to enjoy an amazing partial view of the Central Business District (CBD) area. In fact, now that we have fully stepped into our own space as an unapologetic industry & field pioneer, we think this view is the perfect for who we are.
Intentionality Example #2: Treating Ourselves to Something Nice for Lunch
On Wednesday, mid-week into our re-entry, I will admit that it’s been a rather rough re-entry. In fact, I did blog about it right here. We are adjusting to this new routine of waking up earlier 3 days of the week (for our early workout sessions), and on top of that, we are also trying to break into this new pair of shoes 👟 that honestly doesn’t really fit the shape of my feet (but hey, under the circumstances, I feel like I can’t really complain about it). And if you thought that was all there was, just imagine having to carry around your entire less-than-ideal “remote setup” in a single tote bag. It was quite exhausting from a physical standpoint.
And so, with that in mind, on Wednesday, we felt that we’ve earned ourselves a nice treat so as to keep ourselves motivated and to keep going. So we went to the foodcourt at Bras Basah Complex and we ordered the Katsu Chicken Don w/ Mentaiko sauce. It is absolutely delicious and frankly, it didn’t feel too heavy by the time we were done with our meal. It felt like a nice standard portion (at least for us). Even though it costs S$8.90, it was another practice of being intentional, and it felt good. Look, sure, we could’ve ordered something a bit more affordable, but one thing we kept reminding ourselves this week is that we’re done performing a role. We’re done with the pretentious act as this acceptable, approving, “super prudent”, “make the most of it” guy. This is us being REAL, and we’re not going to apologize for being true to ourselves.
Intentionality Example #3: Treating Ourselves to a Nice Gelato 🍨from Da Paolo Gastronomia
Finally, at the end of Friday, knowing that we have handled our first week back into the world rather well, we decided to reward ourselves with a simple treat, something worthy of the work that we have been doing, not just to navigate the world authentically as “US”, but also for all the work that we have been doing for the last couple of months (building ourselves up on the inside, literally from shambles). After the rather explosive confrontation on the personal front, I’d say that mentally, emotionally & psychologically, we were definitely in shambles afterwards. Hence, it would make perfect sense that we had to pull ourselves up by our ankles and to keep going. Not all struggles are obvious, or have a physical manifestation.
We had to learn how to build ourselves up from nothing, and that has been one of the toughest and most terrifying things anybody should ever have to face. But we did it. And I think we have done a rather amazing job so far. And this S$8.16 gelato felt like it was more than just a simple treat. It was both a reward and self-encouragement for the good work that we have been doing.
“Real progress… isn’t about being perfect, it is about being relentless and to keep showing up.”
We remain fully aware that this journey of transformation isn’t about being perfect all the time. Yes, we totally expect that there will be moments along the way where we might stumble a little, or even make an accidental slip somewhere. Regardless though, we’ve come to learn that real progress in a transformation journey isn’t about being perfect, it is about being relentless and to keep showing up no matter how many times we might slip or stumble.
[…grabs some lunch…]
Operation Purge old_timeline
Alright, we’re back. So, let us talk about we have done yesterday. This was such a gigantuan effort (just from the sheer fact that my entire body is screaming from the ache & soreness), but we also felt it was a necessary step when it comes to cutting away all ties from this old life that we used to have. On Monday evening, my mother suggested that I should take some time to clear my room (something that she has been trying to do for some time). In her mind, even though what I previously had wasn’t considered cluttering, she has a very different standard. In her last ditched effort, she told this story of how my uncle-in-law visited the house and claimed that there was “too much glass” in the room (due to my cabinets and display cabinet for my gunpla models). In her explanation, it’s something to do with bad “feng shui”.
Just to be clear, I do not belief in such superstitious stuff. But hey, just because we do not believe in it, it doesn’t mean that we have to step on other people’s beliefs. So, in this very case, if my mother felt it was true for her, I’ll just respect it. In fact, even though I was tempted to react to the ridiculous story of “too much glass…poking you all the time…”, we decided that it wouldn’t do us any good reacting to her claimed story.
See, one of the most important lessons we have learned during the previous few months, is that “reacting”, be it non-verbal or verbally, tends to expend energy. And the best way to protect and conserve our energy, is to not react (as tempting as it may be). Not even to roll our eyes 🙄. In the end, after mother has finished her story, we just said, “Okay, look, we are not working this weekend, so I’ll take the time to clear everything out.”
With that, my mother was satisfied and she felt she didn’t need to say anymore. Peace earned.
Acknowledging Our Lost Time
Part of the reason why we agreed to this whole purge operation is because it is also true that there are many things in our room that still belonged to the old shell, “Weizhi”. I mean, 80%, perhaps even 90% of everything we can see in all 2 cabinets (excluding the glass display) belonged to a time in our lives where we felt lost. Well, rather, should we say, that “shell” was lost. And in place of that lost feeling, we ended up pursuing stuff that had no bearing or relevance to who we are and who we would become (or be). For a period of 4 years between 2019 and 2022, our shell would proceed to invest in electronics, IoT boards/kits and STEAM Education kits. It honestly wouldn’t surprise us that we had spent in the upwards of thousands of dollars in total.
And now, we’re finally ready to get rid of all of it. In some ways, you could say that that part of our life is GONE. It is officially “DEAD” to us. And still, there are these remnants still hanging about, like the residue of a dead, old timeline. And yes, if TVA (Marvel fans will know the reference) were real, I am sure they will be happy to prune that already dead timeline, you know, just to keep the prime timeline clean, and not allow anything from the old timeline to slip into the prime timeline by accident.
I woke up at around 10:30 am yesterday (I guess I was just very tired from the first week of navigating the world as us). And after a quick breakfast, our purge operation finally began. My mother decided to hand me two very large plastic bags so that I could use it to fill up with all the stuff that we wanted to discard. I initially wanted to place these electronics, IoT, and STEAM kits at the designated spot at the void deck (where residents usually put stuff that is still in working order and available for others to pick from), but I suppose, because of just how much there was (and trust me, it was A LOT!!), some resident decided to take a photo of the corner and filed a complain. 😅
Just to put everything into perspective though, this is actually only a portion of everything that I had brought downstairs. In fact, there was an earlier batch (3 round-trips worth) that seemed to have been removed already. And so this is considered the “2nd batch”.
By the time that I was done moving everything downstairs (including dumping the last batch into the huge green bins), we had already made SIX round trips (2 bags full each time). This is probably one of the most exhausting cleaning up operation I had ever done. EVER.
Shredding the Old Half-Truths
One of, if not the most important parts of our cleaning operations yesterday, has to do with going through our physical notebooks and then manually shredding each page/entry that the shell had made over the years. We had about 5 years worth of private journal entries to shred by hand. And yes, I shredded every single one of those notebooks.
By the time I was done manually shredding those journey entries, I must admit my fingers and hands were aching and sore. Yet at the very same time, it felt like one of the most therapeutic stuff I had ever done in my life. For the first time, I feel like it is good to finally rid ourselves of all the old, half-truths.
…we will never settle for half-truths, nor will we ever be this “version” of ourselves ever again.
When you think about what it is like to live life within a shell or mask, it is like living behind a screen, one that is constantly filtering and distorting the outer world as well as the feelings and thoughts that came from within. Whatever has been written down into those private journals belonged to a distorted and filtered version of who we were. And by tearing them up and getting rid of them, we’re also making a public statement that we will never settle for half-truths, nor will we ever be this “version” of ourselves ever again.
Intentionality Example #4: A Intermittent Setup Worthy of a Master Builder/Artisan
Finally, after moving all our cabinets outside (placing them outside our unit so we can inform town council on Monday, to get some workers to come and move them away properly), I was able to move the ergonomic desk from my younger brother’s former room. It’s not anything new, but just a hand-me-down. My brother already is living by himself. I am genuinely happy for him and the success that he has experienced in his work/career. I respect that.
Anyway, considering that he might not be needing the ergonomic desk anymore, we have decided to re-purpose it and put it to meaningful use. Besides, when you consider the now former white (also yellowish in some parts) desk, it has been with us for the past 9 years, maybe even longer. It has been around since, oh, I honestly couldn’t really remember when exactly it was bought.
There was a split moment while we were moving the desk that the old programming was feeling triggered, “Look at how bad this looks. You are using a hand-me-down ergonomic desk from your brother. He is much younger than you and he is more successful than you. And you are here, using his old desk. You should feel guilty and bad about it.”
In response to that old voice, I told myself, “Nope, I am not going to feel guilty or bad about this. After sticking with that old white desk for so long, I think I’ve earned an upgrade, even if it’s a hand-me-down ergonomic desk. Besides, it’s just sitting in my brother’s room, and not being used. So, let’s re-purpose it and make the best of it.”
What better way to make use of a re-purposed ergonomic desk than to turn it into a setup for the Father of Modern Visual Indicators, a pioneer of the UX industry and the UX/Design Engineering field, and a Global Top Voice?
I’d say that this ergonomic desk has found it’s “renewed purpose” with us. Wouldn’t you think so?
Let’s have a Conversation
So, here is where I turn the mic over to you.
I know I’m not the only one who has had to perform a “hard reset” on their life. Whether it’s shredding old journals, walking away from a career path that wasn’t you, or just reclaiming a physical space in your home—the process is messy, exhausting, and rarely looks like the “after” photos on Instagram.
Have you ever had to purge an old version of yourself to make room for who you’re becoming? How did you deal with the “remnants” of that old timeline?
I’d genuinely love to hear your stories in the comments below. Let’s talk about the messy middle of transformation.
Danny's 
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