I’ve been thinking a lot lately about why it’s so difficult for me to find a workplace or job where I would be able to stay for longer than two years. For many years during the first decade of my tech career, I simply couldn’t stay in one place for long enough. There were times when I only managed to stay for a few months, at times as short as a few weeks. For years, I kept wondering if the problem was me. That I wasn’t good enough as a tech specialist (i.e. being a .NET developer, or web developer, etc).
The only time I felt like I belonged
And then in October of 2015, that was when I finally had the opportunity to work for a company called Progress Software (at least that’s before the organization rebranded a couple of times). It’s still called “Progress” essentially. But what happened was that Progress had been in an acquisition phase of another tech product company called, “Telerik”. And Telerik was a company that I was deeply passionate about for many years since 2006. While many were dreaming about working for companies like Google, Microsoft, Facebook, etc; I was dreaming about working for Telerik. At that time, in my mind, I was thinking, “all I want is to work for Telerik, honestly, it doesn’t matter what kind of role they give me. I love their products and I love what the company has done (and was doing at that time).”
So, when I finally received that opportunity in 2015, I knew immediately that it was a “dream come true” type of opportunity! This was the only time in my tech career where I didn’t have to submit a job application, go through multiple rounds of interviews and face the usual anxiety of wondering if I would get passed up on a great opportunity. This was the first time (so far the only time) in my career that I just got the job simply because they were looking for someone like me. I was a products expert (I knew all of Telerik’s products at the back of my hand), and I was basically what most in the company would describe as “the Telerik guy”, “All-Things-Telerik guy”. Well, that was my reputation during the 14 months that I was with the company and the 3 more years of being a Telerik Developer Expert (Telerik DE). Most people get a little confused with this naming, but it’s basically similar to the Microsoft MVP program.
1. My Job Hunting/Interview Experiences
I think it would be fair to say that when I first started working in 2005 (after leaving National Service [it’s army conscription here in Singapore]), I didn’t know that I would eventually develop a fear for job interviews. I mean, I was fresh out of polytechnic (where I completed my Diploma in 2003), so clearly, all I could see were possibilities and opportunities. I haven’t begun experiencing what it would be like to send out 50 applications and be rejected/ignored for every single one. And I haven’t begun experiencing what it would be like to sit across from an interviewer and feel like I must say certain things in order to appear “more suitable” for the job that I was interviewing for.
But let’s talk about something even more basic – job applications & resume preparation. For quite a long time during that first decade of my tech career, I must admit that I had lied on multiple occasions on my resume. While I like to think that they weren’t big lies, just small ones to make my resume seem more presentable and to increase my odds of landing an in-person interview, the truth was that I lied on my application. I would boast a little about some of my past job experiences and create this inflated write-up of who I am as a professional.
And when I finally get into an in-person interview, I would carry on that lie to try and mask the truth about myself as a professional. It worked most of the time, and sometimes, sure, the interviewer could tell I was being totally authentic about my job application. For nearly a decade, I thought what I was doing was okay. Why? Because talking to others around me, turns out I wasn’t the only one lying on my job applications and in the interview sessions. We began talking about it amongst ourselves and found excuses to justify why we did what we did. One of those reasons was common, “Oh, the market was quite competitive, so we need an edge up from other candidates.”
So in 2015, when I finally landed my dream job, it was the first time I never needed to send out a job application, and nor did I have to sit through the standard job interview (or multiple rounds of interviews, for that matter). It’s the first and only time in my entire career where I felt I could be myself and be proud of that. My recognition as a Telerik DE at that time was more than enough to qualify me for the role that I was given. It was also a 300% increase in salary from my last employment in 2014, and the position was a double jump from my previous role as well.
2. Staying True to Myself
For the last few years after being retrenched from Progress working as a Senior Pre-sales Engineer & Telerik Evangelist, I’ve been doing plenty of self-introspection. Clearly, after some time, I did come to the self-acceptance that being retrenched due to an organizational decision to restructure the company wasn’t my fault. This was a top-down decision that I had zero control over and was at the mercy of their high-level decision. But it did prompt me to think seriously about the differences between this recent job experience versus all the others before it.
(I took a break from the tech career after 2018 when I decided that I was going to pivot myself and make a career transition over to Edtech. This was before the whole pandemic shit happened in 2020. I was working my way and on track to completing that career transition at the end of 2019. Clearly 2020 up-ended my plans, so I made the decision to go back to my tech career instead. I still have hope that might be a possibility that I could end up in a role/career path where I could follow my passions and calling in STEAM and content creation. I actually came close one-time. An IoT company was trying to hire a Developer Advocate. I didn’t get it though. Didn’t make it to the second round interview.)
So, when the pandemic lockdowns were first initiated in April 2020, that was when I began sending out job applications again. It’s been many years since I had to do something like that (last time I had to send out a job application was in 2014). But things didn’t work out so I ended up working in a remote call center job for about 17 months. I was later let go in Sep 2021 because I wasn’t exactly performing on the job. Well, it required me to be a more people-person but honestly, I never liked answering calls (unless its to discuss something really important or something I’m interested in). I’m more of a WhatsApp (messaging) type individual. I tend to express myself better and more clearly when I can type it out.
So, anyway, my point is that after more than 2 years of this pandemic, and after numerous attempts at applying for different tech jobs and various positions across different levels (even down to entry-level, or junior positions), I found that the overall job application to job interview process is still the same as it was before.
We have so much talk in the news and documentaries about how the work industry is changing/transforming. There’s so much discussion about how the industry is becoming increasingly skill-based instead of looking at one’s educational background or judging someone just solely based upon their job history. Yet, after all this talk, it feels like things on the ground haven’t changed much.
In fact, I want to state for the record that for the past two years, I have been sticking to a resume that is true to myself. Both my CV and resume have been prepared in a way where I chose to be authentic and true about who I am and what I am capable of. No more small lies. Well, not sure how hirers and interviewers feel if they have seen or read through my CV/resume. But regardless, I remain resolute and determined to stay true to myself.
And in those instances where I do get the opportunity to do a Zoom interview (or via Google Meet), I would remain authentic and genuine about myself, my skills and what my hopes and plans are should I get the job. So far, I have had a few slightly more positive job interview experiences, but still, I feel like I am coming up short in some way. The reason I say that is because I still haven’t landed a job yet.
I am also getting this nagging thought inside my head telling me, “Just beef up your CV/resume a little. Nobody will really be able to tell anyway. It’s just to improve your odds. It’s okay.”
But I don’t want to do that. I don’t want to go back to the way things were in the past. I don’t want to lie to the hirer/company just to get a job and later have to live with all that false expectations after I got the job. The challenge I face here is, I get that sense that when I am being totally genuine/authentic, my odds seem to drop. And yeah, that feeling sucks.
Closing Thoughts
So yeah, this is where you will find me right now. I am still sticking to my current resume and CV. I have zero intentions of “beefing” up my resume or making my CV “sound” more pleasing to increase the odds of landing a job. If anything, I hope to present myself as someone who can stay true to who I am (which indirectly promotes accountability, reliability, and integrity; values that I hope are being shared by the company considering my application). So yeah, even right now, I seriously feel like I’m not fitting in with the majority of people. And that feeling still sucks, sometimes at least.
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