If I’m being honest, I haven’t been getting enough sleep these last few weeks. I stayed up watching TV shows that I loved in recent years (entire seasons back-to-back). I would sleep at 4am and get up at 8am and it was starting to have a toll on my body. Yes, I was experiencing insomnia, I couldn’t sleep very well for the past few weeks because I have been dealing with my anxiety.
So last night, I did something that I haven’t done in quite a while. I decided to sleep earlier (around 12 midnight), and before I laid down on my bed, I sat there to pray. I’ve realized that I haven’t prayed or read the Bible in a long while. And while I may have prayed recently (a few weeks back), I haven’t been very consistent in doing so.
As we reach the final days of 2022, there are financial challenges in my life that I don’t yet have a solution. It’s one of those situations where you know time is limited, and there’s just no possible way (at least according to our worldly limitations) to address it in such a short amount of time. I tried to pretend like everything is fine on the surface, but deep down, I think I was living in a panic-mode for weeks.
So, after I prayed last night, for the first time in weeks, I was finally able to sleep for 12 hours straight. It doesn’t quite make up for all the hours that I had stayed up in the past few weeks, but I definitely felt better when I woke up today.
When I stood in my shower earlier, I took a moment to practice my breathing exercise again (it’s been a long while since I did that too). One of the side effects/symptoms of dealing with anxiety is that we sometimes forget to take a moment to breathe. This is especially true when someone with anxiety is experiencing a panic attack (or a lengthier panic mode like that one I just experienced). Practicing that breathing exercise earlier really helped me to calm down.
I was then reminded that I haven’t read the Bible in some time, and its time for me to read it again. I was reminded of a verse in Proverbs which had something to do with how God is the one to direct our steps.
I couldn’t remember the exact words from that verse, but I remembered what it means. So, after turning on my PC, I decided to redownload the Olive Tree Bible app. Logged in and did a search for the verse.
As a Christian/believer, I’ve always considered Proverbs to be a book about wisdom and guidance. Whenever I feel lost, or need to calm down and seek guidance about my next steps, Proverbs would be the first place I go to to find that wisdom.
I don’t really know what God’s plans are, or what my next steps are yet. But I know I need to be patient and surrender. Trusting that He will speak to me (or reveal) that next step in His timing.
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