For this Sunday’s update, I like to take the time to speak up about something that is often frown upon by so many people in the online communities. When it comes to family dynamics and internal support system, so many people have this toxic positivity about how a family unit should be supportive towards one another. Now, maybe to some people, they might be lucky enough that they do get to experience such a support system within their own family network. But this is really not the case for everyone else. Certainly not for me.

While some has got to experience growing up in a supportive family, I didn’t really have that growing up. For me, it was mostly about “conformity”. It was about trying to be this acceptable, approved version of a son that my parents would be able to accept. It’s how they would equate “being filial” and “obedience”.

And the moment we try to step outside the lines, that is when our behaviour and actions become equated with being a “disappointment” or “failure”.

Without getting too much into the whole family history and my own life’s history. I will just say one thing—I’ve learned a long time ago that when it comes to walking my own path and not the path that my parents wanted for me, that I would automatically be branded a disappointment. Some of those lines that you see in the above comic strip are real actual words they have used on me. None of them believe or think that I would succeed at what I do. None of them would even believe that I’m already an industry pioneer. All they can see is a “failure” because my life doesn’t resemble the image of success in their minds.

Why I would Never Go to My Family for Support or Help

It’s why I don’t go to my family for support. Because I know that I would never be able to find the kind of support system that I needed from them. Other strangers have come up to me online before and asked me why I won’t go to my family for financial help, or to seek emotional support from them. Clearly, they do not understand what it is like for me. And sadly, some would also try to impose their own views about family unity and support on my circumstances. They would say things like, “Look, I’m sure if you tried to explain it to them, they will understand.” 🤦‍♂️

But here I am, once again, making myself very clear about why I won’t ever waste my time and energy going to my own family for support or help when it comes to getting what I need to do my work. The years have already shown me that no matter how I tried, it will never work. The only thing left for us to do, is to work it out on our own, and succeed on our own.