In recent days, I’ve began to discover more and more about the benefits of not having those internal conflicts that I used to experience ALL OF THE TIME. With that internal calmness and peace (every part of myself finally working together in unison), it’s like I’ve freed up all of this mental bandwidth to finally deal with those external chaos properly. So, I will share a very brief and short narration/story of what it is like to deal with my anxiety and self-doubts over lunch time today.

Overzealous Reporter (Anxiety & Self-Doubts): So, Weizhi, why don’t you just find a full-time permanent job? Wouldn’t it make it easier to have a full-time income that is always predictable? Why choose freelancing when it is proven to be an unstable source of income?

(The security team tries to hold back the reporter and camera crew, but I decided to signal to the security team that it’s okay. I will answer the question.)

Me: Look, sure that could provide something stable, but the truth is, as my track record has always proven, I’ve always performed at my best as a freelancer. Maybe even better than when I was working for a company. I’m not saying that I don’t appreciate a stable monthly income. I just know that I can do more. I can be more. What is wrong with that? Sure, maybe freelancing is not as stable. But it is not about the choice of work, it is about our willingness to work it. Turn it to our advantage. I know for a fact that as long as I am willing and able, I can turn what seems like an unstable income into something stable.

(Reporter butts in…)

Overzealous Reporter (Anxiety & Self-Doubts): But…How?

(I signaled my security team that it is okay.)

Me: I’ll give you one word. TRUST. We build trust. By building a freelance career on trust, I know that income will follow. And the right clients will follow. We might not be able to see it right now, but I know it can and will happen. Alright that is enough for now. I like to get back to enjoying the rest of my lunch.

(Security guys start pulling back the reporter and her crew.)

What does your internal conversation with your anxieties and self-doubts look like? I’m really curious to read your narrative/story.