Have you ever sat in a meeting and then suddenly, in a heat moment everyone begins to start talking over each other, fighting for attention, trying to make their own point heard. It’s not noisy, it’s utter chaos. Honestly, that is what it has been like being me for the…what, I honestly lost count of the number of years I have been feeling like that. I genuinely could not remember the last time I could feel this quiet in my mind, let alone hearing my own thoughts 💭 for the first time. It’s a strangely otherworldly experience too. But I’m embracing it.

When I thought about this very moment this morning, I thought about the superhero movie that Michelle Yeoh won an Oscar for, “Everything Everywhere at Once”. And instantly, it hit me, this is what it’s been like for me.

For the very first time, I felt like all the different versions of myself are finally in agreement. They’ve all decided to fight and compete over each other, and agreed that they each have a unique strength and ability. So, in the right situation, the right version of me will step up to meet it, and the rest can take a break. It is why I had AI generate that featured image. I think it really captures this very moment of profound shift and change.

Who are the different versions of me?

• The loving son that just wants to be loved and accepted.
• The bold, daring (sometimes shameless) technical writer/blogger.
• The emotional, sensitive version.
• The insanely gifted genius builder who always thinks he knows the best solution (and almost always right too).
• The soulful, principled, annoyingly zen version.

I might be feeling mentally and physically exhausted right now, but psychologically and emotionally, I feel like a feather. Like something that was previously there is now gone.

That internal conflict is gone.

You have absolutely no idea how much that actually means to me.