Okay, maybe there’s nothing truly special about making this blog post. But it has been weeks since my last blog entry. Sorry guys for being away for some time since my last check-in. I’ve been away because I’m doing everything that I possibly could to focus on my new career and my part-time studies. For the last couple of months, I had been failing at my time management between the two commitments. It has been both a struggle and challenge to remain focused and self-disciplined. But after a recent interaction with my boss, something that he said triggered me. He told me in a message a few weeks ago that if I did not finish my work by the end of that week, that he would be hiring someone else to take over the project. But in the message, he wasn’t very clear about what he meant by that. So, unavoidably, I would begin to making my assumptions. I was hopelessly trying to read between the lines to figure out what his intentions were. Did he meant that he was going to let me go when he says that he will hire someone else to take over the project? Or did he mean that I will still be in my current role, but just shift my responsibility to work on other aspects of the app (away from the Android version). That was one of the most stressful weeks I’ve ever had since I began this new job.

Remembered My Lessons

Going over to the subject of talking about self-improvement and personal development, I am most grateful that during a time when it mattered the most, I remembered my lessons. Almost immediately after my boss issued that ultimatum (at least I was assuming that was the worst-case scenario), I was reminded that there are things I could never control. These things include the actions and decisions of other people around us. The only thing that I can control is my own actions and attitude. So right there, in that very moment, I finally experienced an awakening. In that very moment, I finally decided to be brutally honest with myself about what I needed to do. I knew that I cannot continue to find reasons and make excuses for being distracted from all of the things that I needed to do. I understood that managing both my work and part-time studies commitment meant that I really will not have time for much of anything else. In fact, it wasn’t until the last few days that I finally had some free time to launch some of my PC games for the first time in weeks.

But those aren’t the only kinds of distractions. Other distractions include the temptation of wanting to spend my time binge-watching old TV shows (some of my favorites). There were times when I get sucked into those temptations and I would end up wasting an entire weekend just watching an entire season of a TV show. What I really should’ve done is to be disciplined and use that time to work on my school assignment. But I didn’t. I procrastinated. The same thing should be said about my evenings after work. When I finally get home, I am normally quite exhausted mentally (especially after giving my 100% at work during the day). So as tired as I am, I had hoped to used about two hours every night to work on my school assignment, or do some studying. But there were so many days where I became so distracted that I ended up watching TV shows when I should’ve been spending it on my school assignment.

Finding My Groove

After months of struggling and having a lack of self-control and self-discipline, for the first time, I feel like I am finally getting into a groove. By groove, I mean that I have finally found that trigger/spark that is needed to kick me into action (focusing on all the right things). Ever since last week, I have decided to be more disciplined in setting up my daily and weekly “time blocks”. For anyone that is also experiencing ADHD or ADD anywhere on the spectrum, I have found that using “time blocks” alongside TO-DO lists have been extremely helpful for me. When I set up a “time block”, it helps my mind to prioritize that time for what I am supposed to be doing. And yes, TO-DO lists, how we I ever forget that. Since last week, I have been experiencing some small successes at checking off all of my TO-DO tasks every single day.

Before you assume anything, I just want to let you in on one thing—I am still experiencing those constant temptations and urges (potential distractions). I’m just becoming better at dealing with them and ignoring them when I need to really focus on my work, or school assignment. In fact, right after I’ve posted this entry, I will need to go focus on my work as well.

A Much Needed Upgrade (for the Gamer Inside)

Okay, so here’s the thing, I’ve always been very torn up between that part of me that loves PC gaming. And then there is the other half, which is also very deeply passionate about my professional work. So, when I was first considering the desire to replace the former super ultra-wide monitor (honestly, it wasn’t the most practical monitor, but it was also a hand-me-down type thing), the initial thought that I had was to eventually get two monitors (both 1440p). I was initially considering the idea of having two 27″ monitors side-by-side. It seem useful to have a setup like that. But I later decided that it wasn’t practical either. I mean, it’s not much different to having the former 49″ 32:9 setup (1080p).

So, I eventually considered all of my options and available budget, and finally decided that it might just be wiser for me to pick one good monitor and make it 32″ instead of 27″. So I continued my online search. When I looked at all of the price vs performance comparisons, this LG UltraGear 32″ monitor was definitely on my list of considerations. But for most of the listed prices online, it was beyond my budget. Most sellers were listing it as between $650 ~ $800. But thanks to patience and some level of self-control, I waited for a few days until I saw a seller listing at $569 (with a $200 discount off their listed price). That was when I finally decided to place the order. I knew that the price may never be this good after this.

This Nano IPS display might be smaller than my previous monitor, but it is definitely SO MUCH better! One of those things I’ve always been longing to experience is HDR10. To me, it is not just about being able to play certain games in HDR-mode (like The Division 2, Ghost Recon Breakpoint and Assassin’s Creed Odyssey), but it is also about being able to watch movies and TV shows in HDR mode. True HDR. Not that stupid HDR400 (everyone online agrees it’s just a marketing gimmick). Frankly, the experience so far hasn’t disappointed at all. I have already tried watching a few Marvel movies in HDR and they actually looked amazing! I tried them in 4K.

UX/UI Designing & Front-end Dev usage

Part of my consideration for finally going with an IPS display also comes from my current objective and goal of focusing more on my passion in UX/UI design, along with my work as a front-end developer. Having an IPS display that also supports true HDR means I can have a much brighter display with more eye-popping colors. In my experience, using a VA panel (while features greater contrast ratio and is better suited for gaming) is just not ideal for professional-work. So this was a very big part of my consideration when it came to which monitor I should invest in. I must say that I haven’t been disappointed at all with regards to using this new monitor as part of my setup. I even tried to load up a color selection webpage recently, and the colors just looks absolutely stunning and vibrant. Stuff I would’ve never get to experience if it were a non-HDR, VA panel display.

Deadline Extension for Our School Assignments

The other thing that I was also considering asking my lecturer on Thursday morning was for an extension and grace period to submit my individual assignment. Because of my recent prioritization of my work commitments, there was an entire week where I didn’t touch my school assignment. And yeah, I was worried that I wasn’t going to be able to submit my best work. So I was hoping to ask for more time. Unbeknownst to me, my lecturer has been speaking to the program coordinator/manager, and they have already agreed to provide a two-week extension. So instead of stressing about submitting my assignment on my birthday (which is tomorrow, Sunday), I am glad that I won’t have to feel so stressed about it anymore.

That said, one of my lessons is there to keep reminding me too. I cannot and should not take this opportunity to procrastinate. No. Instead, what I will be doing is to stick to my daily and weekly “time blocks”. I will continue to remain self-disciplined in working on my school assignment. On that note, when I thought about how much time I actually have to spend on my school assignment during the weekdays (it really is not much), I started to tell myself that it is not about being able to spend a lot of time on something, but rather, it is about spending an equal amount of time every single day (tiny amounts always adds up). So, despite my desire to spend two hours every night on my school assignment, I know that in reality, it is usually more like 45 minutes of truly productive time for my assignment. The rest of the time is just me trying to find my focus. But hey, 45 minutes every night is better than nothing. And then there is Sunday. Sundays have always been a day for me to focus on my school assignments and studying. So that’s the intention. While we have been given two more weeks to complete our assignments, as I was sharing with a classmate of mine, I am hoping to finish it by next weekend. The goal is to finish 90% of it by next weekend, and then spend that final additional week to make tweaks to the assignment, and get it as close as I can to 100%. By doing so, it would allow me to continue to live up to my own beliefs in excellence.

Positive Manifestation: My Birthday Wish

By now, you guys must be aware that I don’t care about pretending to be someone that I am not. So I won’t sit here and tell you that I have no personal desires or wants. Because I do. While I desire to have a number of different things on this birthday (ranging from Sennheiser’s HD800S, or the Beyerdynamic DT 1990, or even the MacBook Pro 16″ with almost maxed out specs), I am also fully aware of what are my wants and needs. I know that everything I have just mentioned above are nice-to-have stuff. And I won’t die without them in my life. But every now and then, there would be something that I could really benefit from having. It’s usually things that sit on the border of both being a need and also a want. And that something is a new personal laptop.

For me, this birthday, there is one thing I wish for more than anything else. I really want to have my own personal laptop. Gone were the days when I would prefer a gaming laptop over portability. I remember those days when I had to carry around a gaming laptop that would weight close to 3 kg. There was even once when my ROG gaming laptop would weight close to 3.75 kg (not including the charging brick). But I am not interested in a gaming laptop anymore. These days, lightweight, portable laptops have become so much more powerful than before. And more than ever, I could benefit from having a portable laptop than a heavy gaming laptop. But ofcourse, for now, I simply don’t have the means to pay for such a “big” ticketed item. Oh yeah $2K is considered a lot for me right now. It’s 2/3 of my take-home salary every month. But maybe, just maybe, by putting this positive thought out into the universe, it would somehow work in mysterious ways to help me get my hands on one (eventually).

Alright guys, I think I am done with my writing and sharing for today. It’s been a lengthy one (justifiably so). I want to thank you for being patient and if you are still here now, thank you. It means the world to me. But it is time for me to go focus on my work now. I promise I will do my best to check-in again soon.