¹⁹ And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:19 [NKJV]

Hey guys, it has been nearly a week since my last daily bread journal entry. If it proves anything, it proves that I’m finally settling into a new normal in my life. Now that I have a full-time job (though it is a 100% remote position), and a part-time specialist diploma course, sharing an weekly update appears most likely. Judging by how exhausted I have been feeling in recent weeks, and the recent dip in my own self-motivation, self-discipline and focus-levels, I recognized that I’m experiencing the early signs of a burn out. As passionate as I am about both my career opportunity and what the part-time diploma means for my future, I also came to realize that it is not realistic or practical for me to give 100% to both commitments right now. I called it my “period of adjustment”. This is both a period of learning and growing. And yes, as much as I am excited and super grateful for what it all means for my life and my future, I want to also acknowledge and admit that this period of growing has been nothing short of challenging. But as I am presently going through this experience of learning and growing, I am also being reminded that the process of growth won’t always be pleasant, or enjoyable. Part of learning, and growing in life is about going through some pain as well. There will be times when we have to make certain personal sacrifices. There are things that we are going to have to give up (even if it’s just temporarily). But I am also doing my best to remind myself of the end goal. I am going through this now, so that some day in the future I would be able benefit from this experience of learning and growing.

Yes, I am thinking about “Delayed Gratification”.

God’s Provision Won’t Just Include the Tangible, And Most Certainly NOT What We Would Expect.

So, how does sharing my recent experiences relate with today’s daily bread entry? Lately, I have been thinking a lot about how, when we try to pray and ask God to bless us with certain things in life. Or when we ask Him to help us improve or work on something in our lives. When He does answer and give us something, it is not always what we would expect. We tend to assume that we need certain things so that we can grow or move to the next level. But ultimately, God always knows best what we need to grow, or to reach the next level in our progress.

And when that happens, we always have a choice. We can either decide to go with His flow and adapt to the circumstances, or we can be bitter about it, and complain about our circumstances instead of actually making the best of it. As I am sharing this reflection right now, I am also being reminded of a time in my life when I was blessed with certain unexpected opportunities in my life. Instead of appreciating the opportunities and grabbing it with both hands to make the most of it, I didn’t recognize those opportunities for what they were. As a result of my lack of positive attitude towards those opportunities, they flew by and I lost the opportunity to learn and grow from it. Every single time I am reminded of my regrets in life, I would think about some of these opportunities. They were not what I was expected or hoping for at that time, but in hindsight now, I finally realized that I would have benefitted a lot from those experiences if I had grabbed them with both hands.

Coming back to my present circumstances, I am finding myself in another very similar situation right now. In terms of my job right now, instead of having the opportunity to work on websites and web applications that are related to ReactJS, my boss instead has assigned me to an Android project. To be totally transparent, I had not worked on any Android applications since 2019. And yes, because of how quickly technology improves, a few years can make a lot of difference. I had spent the last couple of years of my life focusing on a gap in my skills – front-end web development. I was seeing a lot of trend online when it comes to what companies are looking to hire. So, I had this assumption that web development is going to be in heavy demand. That said, I was also somewhat mentally prepared and ready should I find a company that was willing to hire me, but wants me to work on a mobile app instead of a website. To be fair though, that wasn’t something that I was rooting, or hoping for.

But when God blessed me with this new job and I realized that my first responsibility involves taking over the company’s existing Android application, I managed to quickly adapt and keep a positive attitude towards it. Ideally, it wasn’t what I was hoping for, for sure. But it doesn’t mean that I wasn’t excited or grateful about this new career opportunity. Now that I have been on this job for two months, I find myself still occasionally struggling because of the challenges that comes with working on a technology framework and coding language that I haven’t been using for years. To add to the complexity of my circumstances, I have come to realize that the existing mobile app has been poorly maintained over time by the developers that have came before me. So, as you can imagine, it is double the challenge for me. I have new things I have to get up to speed with in a short time, and I also have to try and fix what is wrong with the Android application. Unlike the developers that have worked on the Android app before me, I can’t bring myself to overlook what was wrong with the Android app. When I see something wrong, I have to do something about it. I also know that if I tried to ignore it, or put it off, there is always a very strong chance that I will forget about it later when things become really busy.

So, that has been the sort of challenges I have been facing lately. It has been getting quite stressful for me. Despite how challenging my circumstances have been, I’ve found myself thinking, “Did God have a plan and purpose for wanting me to take over the responsibility of working on the Android app?”

The only thing I can come up with is that, maybe my boss knows how much the Android app needed an improvement. A significant enhancement. And maybe God knows that I am also the right person for that job. In spite of the fact that this is some expert-level stuff that we’re talking about (I have things to learn), this is also the kind of project where I have thrived upon in the past. When I look back upon all of the projects that I’ve had a hand in, one thing is clear—I have always been able excel when it comes to work on an existing project that is in a poor condition at the time of taking over it. For some weird and unexplainable reason, I have always been better at fixing problems and preventing problems from happening. As exhausting as those experiences were (when I am going through the process), they also brought me the greatest sense of satisfaction and fulfilment.

So, in conclusion, here’s what I am thinking and realizing right now. This is one of those rare opportunities where I get to take over a project that has been badly done on the onset, and now I have that perfect opportunity to make a real impact. A chance to turn it into something spectacular in the months and years to come. It will take some time for me to get there, but I know that as long as I keep persevering and not give up, and continue to stay passionate about my work, I know that I will eventually get there (with God’s grace).

Alright, I’m going to end my journal entry today with my personal prayer and I will continue my work on the project.

Personal Prayer for Today

Dear Heavenly Father,

I want to take this moment to come before You and give You all the thanks. I want You to know just how deeply grateful and appreciative I am about having been blessed with this new career opportunity. Though being given the responsibility to take over an Android app project wasn’t what I was hoping for or expected, I am starting to realize that in hindsight, this has the potential to be one of those rare opportunities where I would get to make a significant impact on the app that I get to work on. I mean, I am ofcourse speaking in future present tense.

Thank You Father, for reminding that I’ve always had this ability to thrive when it comes to work on projects that were left in a poor state when I first takeover them. In all of those experiences, I’ve always had the ability to turn them into something spectacular by the time that I was done with them. Compared to those similar experiences, You have also shown me that this is the biggest challenge yet. And as a result of that, it is also the perfect opportunity for me to learn something and grow from it.

Thank You for also reminding me that when we are faced with circumstances like these in our lives, we always have a choice to decide if we want to keep a positive attitude in the face of those challenges, or do we want to retreat from the challenge. As uncomfortable as this growing experience has been, I still want to thank You for blessing me with the courage and the strength to face this new challenge head-on. And now, as I continue to take this challenge on, I will continue to trust in You. I will continue to lean upon You and believe that You will bless me with all that I need to turn this entire app around (in due season).

I vow to give You all of the praise and all of the glory. In Jesus’ name I pray.

Amen.