Yeah, I know it is a weekday, so you may be wondering why I am posting on a Thursday morning. Well, today happens to be a break from school day. Recently, when I started my current new career, I also decided to sign up for a part-time specialist diploma as well. So, for every alternate Thursday, I would have to spend my entire day at one of the local polytechnics. Today just happens to be the week where we don’t have any physical classes. So I’m staying home to focus on the group assignment that we’re supposed to hand-in (do a presentation) next Thurs.

And since I’m going to be spending the day at home, I wanted to use my time well. That begins with doing this daily bread reflection & entry. So let’s just dive right in.

⁸ For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light ⁹ (for the fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness, righteousness, and truth), ¹⁰ finding out what is acceptable to the Lord. ¹¹ And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather expose them. ¹² For it is shameful even to speak of those things which are done by them in secret. ¹³ But all things that are exposed are made manifest by the light, for whatever makes manifest is light. ¹⁴ Therefore He says: “Awake, you who sleep, arise from the dead, and Christ will give you light.”

Ephesians 5:8-14 [NKJV]

Alright, I know that this passage is quite a big chunk, so let’s just break it down into the key portions that should matter most. Now, don’t get me wrong, I wish I have lots of time, that way I can go into more detail. But I do need to go focus on my school assignment later. So I’ll have to condense this reflection to the key points.

Living a Morally Upright Life

Depending on which part of the world you come from, I believe our education can be quite different. Where I’m from (Singapore), when we were attending Primary School back in the 80s and 90s, there is this subject that is taught called, “Social Studies”. My fellow Singaporeans should be familiar with this. It’s not a core subject, but more like something that our society wants to impart and instill into each of us. Part of our social studies lessons would involve lessons about how we conduct ourselves, how we should behave, how we should be treating others, etc. Basically, we had to learn the basic foundations of how to be a morally upright person in life.

But here’s the thing though—learning about being a morally upright person in a classroom environment as a child is very different from being a teenager or adult. When I was in my teens and as a young adult, I often struggled with my own chronic anxiety disorders. And yes, at times, that means dealing with social anxiety as well. I struggled with being myself because I would be seen by others as being “anti-social” or a “loner”. So, for the longest time, I would try everything that I can to fit in. Sometimes even when it means I have to occasionally do/say something that isn’t morally right. Yes, I have been guilty of passing what seemed like casual, passive-aggressive racist remarks. The click that I was trying to fit in with were teasing someone else, and I would casually join in with the group simply because I didn’t want to feel left out, or appear different from them. But when I go home on those days, I would always feel unhappy and disgusted with my own actions and my lack of courage to speak up and disagree with what the group were doing/saying.

As an adult, I did struggle at times with doing what is right too. There are times where I would struggle with my own morals. I would preach one thing and immediately in the next moment, I would do something totally different. Again, I was still trying really hard to please others and to fit in. So my words and actions were never in sync. While I’d like to genuinely think that I am not at all a bad person per say, I know that I wasn’t always right in how I live either. I wasn’t as good as a person ought to be I suppose.

It wasn’t only about 7 years ago that I finally made that personal decision/vow that I would stop pretending and to stop trying to fit in. It was after that that I eventually began to find my moral compass. Even though there were still moments in my life where I struggled to live up to my own moral standards, I never stopped trying to do better. I’m not sure if I am qualified to say if I am a good person today. But perhaps I can take comfort is knowing that it is easier for me to live according to my own moral compass today than it was 7 years ago.

Staying Silent is Being Complicit

Going back to the days as a teenager when I was desperately try to fit into a group of friends at school, there were times when I saw my group of friends teasing and bullying someone else and while I didn’t join in, I also never spoke up about it either. And because of my own silence, I knew that I was complicit in their actions and how they treated that other student.

So, when I became an adult, I actually had a slightly easier time speak out. This was an area where I had less of a problem. When I saw my superiors, or managers at work having a hand in certain shady practices, I would often speak out and point it out. I am honestly not surprise why I didn’t really stay very long at many of the digital agencies I was a part of. I’m always pointing out and speaking out when I see something that I didn’t agree with.

It is the very same kind of attitude that I bring with me into my current career opportunity. When I first joined this company, I spoke to my boss very frankly that if/when I come across something that I know is bad/wrong, I will not pretend that I didn’t see it. I’ve told him that I would always speak out if I know that something can be done better. And I am glad that is accepting (hopefully welcoming) with that. I know that some people might have no issues with others speaking out, but they don’t always welcome it or appreciate it.

The biggest problem of being silent when we see something wrong and not do something about it? When something goes wrong later, we will be thinking to ourselves if we could’ve done something, or said something to prevent it from going from bad to worse.

Personal Prayer for Today

Dear Heavenly Father,

I come before You today, grateful that You have spoken to me through Your word. Thank You for this reminder regarding one of the most important personal lessons in my life—being a morally upright person. I know that to conduct ourselves morally all the time is not as easy as it seems. Having lived it in my past life, I know that to be a morally upright person everyday requires a constant decision. I have to decide each and everyday that I want to say and do what is right.

I am also grateful for the reminder that to be above reproach, it is not just about having my own moral compass, but also about knowing when to speak up/out. Especially when I come across something that I know is wrong and I couldn’t stay silent about it.

Here’s the thing, I understand now that to choose to be a morally upright individual, it means that there will be times where I am seen as the guy making the unpopular decision. But if I had learned anything from the last couple of years, it is this—by having the personal integrity to follow my own moral compass/standards, I have attracted more respect from others than I ever had in the past. I don’t need people to like me. I rather have their respect.

I thank You for this impactful reminder today Lord. As I carry on with my day to work on my group assignment, I ask that You will continue to help me, guide me and speak to me. I am confident that with Your grace, I can excel at anything that I set my heart, mind and soul to.

I vow to give You all of the praise and all the glory. In Jesus’ name I pray.

Amen.