⁴ Do not overwork to be rich;
Because of your own understanding, cease!
⁵ Will you set your eyes on that which is not?
For riches certainly make themselves wings;
They fly away like an eagle toward heaven.

Proverbs 23:4-5 [NKJV]

Hey guys, so I want to sincerely apologise that my recent entries seems to be dwindling. Things at work have been a little more challenging and stressful that I had expected when I first accept this career offer. Don’t get me wrong though, I am absolutely grateful for it and I have absolutely zero complains about having a job. Lord knows, I have been persevering and fighting for an opportunity for the better part of the last two decades of my life. But it is the state of the work/project that is often quite frustrating for me. That is causing most of my stress in recent weeks. So it’s understandable that I have to temporarily post less so that I could focus on what really matters. I think it is important to keep in mind that writing (as much as I love it, and as natural as it is), is actually something that requires time and effort. Every time that I sit down to write something like this, it can take up to an hour and sometimes longer for me to fully express my thoughts, and to find those words to write. When it comes to this daily bread entries, I am so grateful to have the Holy Spirit helping me with finding those words when I am struggling on some days. So, anyway, yesterday was supposed to be Day 80, but I missed doing an entry yesterday, so I’ll have to resume with Day 80 today instead.

“Pay Day”, Oh yeah, It is That Time of the Month

If I had to be absolutely honest with myself, a part of the stress that I have been experiencing lately is not from my work. As the dates went by this month, I could feel that inner anxiety growing, increasing incrementally as the end of the month draws closer. I am experiencing this growing anxiety within because I know that I’m going to be facing some very similar temptations and urges once again. I believe I have been honest and genuine about this before, but let me just repeat it again, I haven’t always been very successful when it comes to battling and overcoming my temptations and urges when it comes to how I would be spending my money. Interestingly enough, I have no problems making a financial plan. I think anybody can make a good financial plan. The real test however is whether we will actually act on those plans and stick with it in the long run. There had been times in my life where I was successful for a period of time. I would have a plan and even though I wasn’t as consistent as I wanted to be, I was able to stick to a plan for a few years of my life. And then somehow, at one point or another, I would fail and I would eventually give in to those temptations again.

Why did I fail previously?

As I am reading today’s passage, I can’t help but think of two reminders, the first one being, “I need to remember the reason why I failed in previous attempts.” It is by remembering and knowing the root cause of my own past failures that I can finally do something different, try something different. The obvious intentions here is to avoid a repeat of my past mistakes and failures. When it comes to thinking about the reason, or reasons behind my previous failures, I can’t really point to just one reason though. I think it’s actually because of a series of reasons

Unrealistic & Impractical Financial Decisions

Making unrealistic & impractical financial commitments (often when I tried to please someone, or tries to fit in). That is when I would give in and spend more than my daily budget allows, or pay for a meal/treat even when I know that I simply cannot afford to. Others might like it, but we know that it wasn’t genuine of me.

Unclear of my Needs and Wants.

No clear understanding of what are my needs and what are simply desires (nice-to-have stuff). For the longest time in my life, I have been living with this semi-blinded ignorance of what I think are my needs and what would be considered nice-to-have things. Sure, there are some things that are immediately clear that they are my desires (wants). But there would also be times when the item that I desire also blurs the line between need/desire.

Right now, one thing that I can think of that could be justified as a need is to pay for the “Magic Mouse” so that I can use it with my work MacBook. While it is possible for me to get one second-hand, I am not sure of the real condition of the mouse, especially after someone else have been using it for a long time. And I’m considering if I really should get a brand new one instead. I know that the trackpad of the MacBook Pro is great too. But as great as it is, I always find that I can do my tasks faster when I have access to a mouse. The other sad thing is that my work MacBook Pro is so old that I can’t plug in accessories because it would drain the MacBook faster than it can be charged. So, is this considered a desire, or is it something I truly need.

Frankly, the magic mouse decision is actually just one of those things that have been blurring the lines for me. But I know that I will need to rely on God’s guidance and wisdom to help me discern if I truly need these things right now. Or can I do without them for another month.

Positive side though, now that I am able to finally start leading a purpose-driven life, it is much easier for me to have this clarity about many things. In fact, having a purpose in my life has helped me to streamline a lot of things in my life (I am feeling lighter and will be able to progress further and faster).

Too Harsh with Myself Whenever I Made a Mistake

Yes, I really do think that that was one of those things I need to change if I want to make a difference this time. One of the reasons I failed in sticking to my financial plans in the past is because I was trying to demand perfection from myself. But let’s be honest with ourselves, none of us can be perfect. The more we try to aim for perfection, the easier we will be disappointed in the end. In very much the same way that I should never expect others to be perfect, we should also treat ourselves in the very same light.

I remember there are instances where I would have made a mistake and gave in to certain temptations. I would come back home and I would feel so disappointed with myself over time, and I eventually began to think to myself, “What is the point? I am too weak to resist this temptations!” And then came my downfall (eventually).

In recent years, I thank God for blessing me with this change in my mentality and understanding. I know now that instead of chasing after perfection in my life (and work as well), what I should really be after is consistency and perseverance. I know that in spite of my best efforts, there will be days when I would still slip up in spite of my best efforts at exercising self-restraint and self-discipline. And it is in those moments when I know that I have made a mistake that I need to learn to be more forgiving and understanding with myself. This does not mean that I will allow myself to keep making mistakes either. I know that it is something I have to do everything possible to prevent.

Lack of Visibility of My Daily Expenses

One of the biggest mistakes that resulted in some of my past financial failures is because I lacked this visibility when it comes to know how much I am spending on a daily basis. I would simply go through my day like I’m just going through the motion. And then when it comes to the end of the day when I finally want to update my excel sheet with my expenses and I had this difficulty trying to recall what I spend that two dollars on. And there would be months when I reach the end of the month and I would realized there was $10, or $50, or $100 that seems to have gone unaccounted. That is when I would feel really upset and disappointed with myself.

When this keeps happening, it does something to my morale and eventually, I would slacken my efforts. Over time, I would just stop tracking my expenses altogether.

The one thing that is very different today in my life is that I have switched into mostly a “cash and nets” person. In a world where cashless payments is becoming more widespread, I am thankful to God that we have something called “FlashPay”. It is very similar to using NETs. So that is also what I would use to pay for certain daily expenses if the establishment doesn’t accept cash. That said, I am still 80% a cash-payment person right now (in spite of the times). I know that cashless payments does provide a form of convenience. But I much rather be able to see and feel how much I am spending on a daily basis. If I can see it, I will be more self-aware and exercise greater self-discipline and self-restraint.

That said, I still want to maintain a simpler, but more consistent way of tracking my daily expenses. So perhaps I can use my productivity app like Evernote to constantly take photos of any receipts and then attaching them to a note.

Paying for Un-necessary Online Subscriptions

Oh man, I’ve saved the best for last I suppose. One of my greatest failures and mistakes in the past is the convenience of online subscriptions. There will be times when I come across certain software/platform subscriptions that are offering a really good deal. They look like they cost only so little every single month, so I would sign up for it. But over time, what initially seems like a very tiny commitment would snowball into something that I can’t imagine. It might not seem like much when it is just one subscription. But when you add up multiple software subscriptions, it really grows very quickly.

Today, I am doing everything I can to avoid repeating the very same mistake from my past. Thanks to better clarity and understanding of what are my needs vs wants, I am able to streamline what I know I will need versus what I can do without. At the current moment, when I think about my coming monthly subscriptions, I have totaled it to roughly S$180 per month. I intend to keep it to that amount for the foreseeable future. Everything else that I don’t need, I have already canceled my subscriptions and trials. So when the trial period comes to an end, it won’t auto-renew.

In hindsight, I think this is an improvement compared to the past when I was paying hundreds of dollars every month for subscriptions. Some of which I barely touched or used. So it’s basically a waste of money for me.

What I Can Do More Of.

Now that I have my lessons and daily reminders. I want to switch over to a more positive tone. More than just remembering my lessons and applying those wisdom to my daily life, I also realized that I have something positive in my life to depend on (lean into) — having a purpose-driven life. Because I have been following my passions and now discovered my own “ikigai”, I have something to live for. Something to constantly work towards. Having this sense of purpose in my life means that it will be easier for me to remain focused on what really matters. Everything else that isn’t a priority will fade into the rear view mirror.

As I think about how I want to manage my finances on a daily, weekly and monthly basis, I think that I ought to focus on my purpose, and let that be my compass in every decision that I want to make on a daily basis. Will that decision affect my ability to keep following my purpose in life, or will it eventually take me away from my purpose in life? If I continue to remain true to my purpose in my life right now, I know that I will not stray from my path (the path that God has laid out for me).

Personal Prayer for Today

Dear Heavenly Father,

Thank You for taking the time to speak to me through Your word today. I’m sorry that I had missed yesterday’s daily bread entry. I want to thank You for speaking to me today about something that is so timely. Thank You for helping me to remember the lessons of why I failed to stick to my financial plans in the past. It is those lessons that I know will help me to do better this time.

I also want to take this time to thank You for making clear to my what my passion and purpose in life is. Thank You for giving me one. Because of this clear purpose and direction in my life, it has also enabled me to see things with such clarity. Because of that clarity, I can also lighten my load, making it easier for me to focus on what really matters.

Thank You for also showing me that this purpose that You have blessed me with is also a compass for me. It is the one thing that will help me to navigate the days, weeks and months ahead.

I vow to give You all the praise and all the glory. In Jesus’ mighty name I pray.

Amen.