²⁷ He who has knowledge spares his words,
And a man of understanding is of a calm spirit.
²⁸ Even a fool is counted wise when he holds his peace;
When he shuts his lips, he is considered perceptive.

Proverbs 17:27-28 [NKJV]

Seeing that this is a nice long weekend for the folks here in Singapore, I thought I would seize the opportunity to write another daily bread entry on my website. Currently, I am fully aware that with my current new career and how busy it will be for the first few months (until I get everything under control and have my own system for doing certain daily tasks), it will be a little difficult for me to be making my daily bread journal entries like I’m used to doing. But that doesn’t mean I will neglect my commitment. Not for a second. It just means that I might not be able to make as many entries as I am normally used to. I don’t think that it is a bad thing ofcourse. I considered it a blessing and something to be extremely grateful for now that I have a full-time job, doing something that I am passionate about and also something that brings a great sense of meaning to my life.

Introverts May be Natural Listeners, But It Still Takes Practice to be Greater Listeners

So let’s not waste any time today. I still have work that I need to get to do, but I am refusing to simply go through the motion when it comes to doing my daily bread. Today, I want to speak to you and share with you about the lessons that I have learned in my life when it comes to having the wisdom/prudence to know when to speak up and when to be silent. It is often a misconception that introverts like myself as natural listeners because we don’t speak all the time. In fact, it is also true that we also speak, maybe what, 10% of the time in most settings that we’re in. We aren’t the ones to initiate conversations, so we are always just listening and observing our surroundings. That’s what we do.

But does that mean that we are also naturally great listeners? No. Actually, I’ve come to realize through my own life experiences and self-awareness that I am actually not that great of a listener some times. I thought I was. Well, the reality is, yes, I am in my most natural state, still a much better listener and observer than most people. Like most introverts are. But I still have a long way to go before I can even be considered a great listener/observer.

Great versus Good Listeners & Observers

I suppose this is the main focus of our reflection and lesson for today. It’s really about learning how to become not only good listeners and observers, but to be better, perhaps even great listeners and observers one day. And this is also something that I will be dedicating the rest of my life to practicing on a daily basis.

See, the thing about what separates great listeners from the good ones is that they don’t just listen only to what they want to listen to. We call that “selective hearing”, or “selective listening”. It’s just a way for our minds to process information from what others are saying, or trying to tell us. But selective listening is actually not a very good way of processing information. We become biased in how we interpret the real intentions and meaning behind what the other person is trying to convey. So, in that context, are we truly listening attentively to what the other person is trying to tell us? Or are we just choosing to listen to what we want to hear?

Better, even great listeners don’t filter what they hear or listen to. They simply absorb every bit of information first. And then they would later reflect on what has been said and then do the filtering thereafter (not before, or during while others are speaking).

When it comes to our own observation skills, it is also the very same. The truly great observers among us has a very good way of being unbiased (neutral) when it comes to how they process visual information. They don’t make any kind of judgement while they are watching and observing. They just watch an absorb everything that they are seeing. It is only afterwards that they begin to process everything that they have seen.

Most of Us are Still “Selective Listeners and Observers”

Speaking my own truth, I will admit that I am still quite a selective listener and observer at times. How do I know that? By comparing how observant I can be when I am practicing something that I am passionate about like UX and CX. In the professional capacity, suddenly I am a much better listener and observer. It is what makes me really great at what I can do. Yet, when we talk about my own personal life, I happen to be not that great when it comes to being a listener or observer. Yeah, perhaps I am naturally good, better than some people. But I know that I am most certainly not a great listener or observer in my daily personal life.

So yeah, perhaps I need to learn to take lessons from my own professional habits and do the very same with my personal relationships with others and with my own situational awareness. Sure, I’ve managed to develop a greater level of self-awareness in recent years. Praise God for that for that self-improvement in my life. But is it enough? Not yet. From where I am in my personal life right now, I know that my recent life experiences is a huge reminder that I have still a lot of work to do when it comes to becoming a better listener and to be even more observant.

While I may not be able to speak for most people, I know that many of us share this similar lesson and experiences in our lives. We still have much to do when it comes to becoming better listeners and observers. So let’s begin our work here, today.

Personal Prayer for Today

Dear Heavenly Father,

Thank You for speaking to me today about something that I know I needed to listen to. With everything that I have experienced in recent years, these struggles and challenges have been a clear reminder that while I might’ve been a better listener and observer when it comes to my work, I am still very far off in my own personal life.

Thank You for reminding me today that I still have much work to do if I really want to become a better listener and to be even more observant. As I come before You today, I am praying and asking that You will help me to become more self-aware, not just of myself, but also of my situations and circumstances. Help me to be more neutral and less judgmental when it comes to listening to others and when observing the surroundings and circumstances that I find myself in.

I pray and ask this in Jesus’ mighty name.

Amen.