Hey guys, in preparation for the mental health awareness month, I have been preparing this writing, saved it in my drafts so that I could post it at a later date. But with everything that has happened since then, I could only proof-read what I have written weeks later, but I suppose it is also timely because thanks to my upcoming new career opportunity, it also means that I will be able to get back into therapy sessions soon. For those that already know part of my story will know that I struggled with chronic anxiety disorders ever since I was a kid. And during some periods of my life growing up, I would also experience severe depression as well. Throughout my life between the ages of 6 to 33, I have already seen multiple psychiatrists, professional counselors and therapists on different occasions. And perhaps it is also thanks to that that I was able to develop a very specific set of coping mechanisms that worked rather well for my individual case.

Dealing with On-going Anxiety

The thing about dealing with and managing anxiety is that it’s not something that you can just simply heal by taking medication. It is also not something that just happens for a “phase” in our lives. As I have explained this multiple times before, dealing with anxiety is actually a life-long condition. Speaking from my wealth of experience in dealing with my own chronic anxiety, I know for a fact that there will be times when my anxiety levels will drop to a very minimal level (easier to manage) during the better times in my life, and then like a wave, it can sometimes come back with a kick when things are in turmoil in my life. But there could also be instances where the anxiety could be triggered by an event, or some kind of stressor. But when it comes to those stressors, I have already become rather good at knowing how to manage, mitigate and occasionally avoiding them when I can afford to.

For the last two years plus of my life, my chronic anxiety did come back with a vengeance. It was bad. Perhaps one of the longest period of chronic anxiety I had ever experienced. Perhaps you can think of it as a test of how good those coping mechanisms were. So, I say, the fact that I am still here, and I am looking forward to a new job means that those coping mechanisms really helped! A lot! Without those coping mechanisms, I honestly don’t know how I would’ve survived these last few years. They have been brutal for my mental-wellbeing. Seriously. Since this is mental health related post, I’m not going to sugarcoat things, or mince my words. The last two years really challenged me to my very core. I still remember a time in my life when I might’ve considered self-harm, or even worse.

Mitigation & Preventative Measures

When it comes to mental health challenges, we will all experience it in different degree and at different stages of our lives. Let’s face it, we can’t avoid it forever. At some point, we will have to face something that we are unfamiliar with and we are going to have to reach out and ask for help. It may not necessarily be in the form of something professional like speaking to a therapist once a month. It could just be opening up to a friend, or someone that you trust with being your most honest self.

When I look back on my entire life so far, and everything that I have experienced and learned about my own mental health challenges, I’ve learned one very important lesson – it’s all about mitigation and putting in place preventative measures. A lot of the work that happens when I visit a psychiatrist or therapist in the past, is really about developing a way to monitor the signs. When I became familiar with my own signs that something is coming, or something could potentially trigger my anxiety impulses, I will then begin to do something proactive to ensure that I either avoid that stressor, or if I can’t avoid it, I would find a way to prepare myself mentally to face it.

In the world of dealing with and managing our mental health, I’ve learned that there is no preventing it 100%. It will come and when it comes, it’s always better to be prepared for it than to be caught off-guard when it happens. As someone that has sat in the room, and on that sofa, I know what it is like when a therapist tries to ask me for the first time, “Why did you do that?”, “Why did you think you did that?” My first response would always be something like, “I really don’t know…”, or “I’m not quite sure…”

As it turns out, that is a very common response for a lot of people who actually don’t know their signs and triggers/stressors. They would act out, or do something they normally don’t do, and they have no idea why they would react that way. It happens quite commonly.

That is also why it is so important for us to know that it is okay to reach out and seek help. Like I’ve already said before, asking for help doesn’t necessarily mean that you need to seek professional help. Although I do recommend taking that approach because these professionals are actually qualified to help you sort through those complicated feelings and emotions. But no, seeking help also means, talking to family or friends if there is someone that you know will listen without passing judgement. Unfortunately for me, I don’t have that in my own life. So I’ve always relied on professional help.

I’m Officially Going Back into Therapy

There was a time when I would’ve been really afraid to talk about going to therapy, or seeing a psychiatrist to help treat my chronic anxiety disorders. I was afraid because of the stigma surrounding mental health issues. So, I would never have the courage that I do today, to be able to sit down and write about my intention to return to therapy.

With my new job starting in June, and perhaps with some funds in July, I want to start making plans to return to therapy sessions again. The first few months and the first year back on a job will certainly involve navigating potential stressors. But this period of my life will actually be among the better times. So that also means that eventually, my anxiety-levels will drop to a more minimal (manageable) level. No, like I said again, it won’t entire go away. It’s not going to disappear. So for the first year, I suspect I will still do a monthly visit to the therapist’s office. Sit on the sofa and just talk about everything that I’ve been experiencing. And then if and when I feel like I really need an extra session, I can always book ahead of time. Remember, it is all about mitigation and preventative measures. You need to know your own signs.

For me, this period of better times in my life is not a time to ignore my mental health. I’ve learned that the very hard way years ago. When I experienced a period of really good life (better income, better work-life balance, better in so many ways), I got complacent and I dropped the ball when it comes to my own mental health. Over time, all the little things would add up like a snowball rolling downhill. By the time I was aware of those signs it was too late. So, now I know that I cannot wait. Going to therapy sessions once a month will be a very good way to start. It’s like having a regular health check to make sure that all my levels are good. And if something is off, we can do something to mitigate or prevent things from sliding further downhill.

My Mental Health Advice?

Now, I am certainly not a professional, so no, I don’t have the necessary qualifications to actually provide professional advice/guidance. But, being someone who has dealt with severe mental health struggles all my life, I can say that I know a few things about what it is like to live with it and to have to ask for help. My advice to parents with young children or teenagers, learn to listen to them. You might have plenty of life experience you can share with them, but this is not one of those teachable moments. No. Just sit down, be quiet and listen. Most of the time, they really don’t need anyone to give them advice or solutions. All they really want is to have someone who would listen to them and try to empathize, see things from their position.

If you are an adult, my advice is to first see if there is anybody within your immediate circle of influence that you can talk to about the really honest stuff. And I don’t mean just 99% truth. I mean 100%. And hopefully they are the ones that aren’t quick to judge either. Usually the more quiet friends are better listeners in my opinion. I know I am. But hey, if you can’t find someone in your life who could provide that listening ear, it’s okay. I didn’t have, still don’t have people in my life that I can talk to about such things. This is where I would say to you that it is okay to ask for professional help. There’s nothing wrong with it. In fact, it takes a lot of emotional maturity and strength/courage to be able to ask for help. That says a lot about who you are and the kind of character that you have. Others should also respect you for it.