³³ Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.
³⁴ “So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.

Matthew 6:33-34 [NLT]

As someone that regular struggles with my own mental health challenges, I know firsthand many of the signs when I’m either about to experience another mental episode like a panic attack, or when there’s signs that a mild depression might be slipping in. To be fair and absolutely honest, there have been days when I felt too weak to fight off those signs. Yeah, I would feel this total lack of motivation to get out of bed, and I would simply stay in, all the way until I really feel the need to leave the bed (like being hungry). Those were the bad days.

But I also have better ones. Like this morning. I had set the alarm to get up at 9.30am, but I was struggling with getting out of bed because a part of me is still troubled by the current circumstances in my life. In a way, getting out of bed means that I have to go face whatever it is that I needed to face today. And that prospect does scare me (sometimes). It’s usually scary when things pile up and everything just becomes a little too overwhelming for me.

But I must also say this. In the recent days since I’ve begun making the effort to pray and read the Bible again, I feel like some of the weight of my worries and anxiety has been lifted from my shoulders. Not entirely, I can still feel some of it, but I certainly felt a little lighter today than I did 5 days ago. I suppose, just like with most things in life, learning to trust in God and surrendering our lives to Him is also a process. It doesn’t all happen overnight or in an instant.

It is Back to the Basics Again, Putting God First

As a believer, one of the most basic lessons that we will learn in Sunday school is about putting God first in our lives. When I first began this Daily Bread routine a few years ago, I was able to reach a place where spiritually, I was able to put God first in my life every single day. It took a while for me to get to that place for sure, but my point being, I did get there. In fact, I never thought of it that way, but there was even a point where I was almost looking forward to my daily morning quiet time with God. I wanted to “listen” to everything that He has to say to me for that day. And yes, things really did work out, way better than I could ever hoped for. By learning, and then choosing to put Him first in my life, I didn’t just get what I needed at that time, I got more than I could ever imagine.

I think that has got to be the best proof that His word is true. In verse 33, Jesus told us that when we seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, then he will give us everything we need.

As I’m reading this bible passage again, it’s more of a reminder. See, I’ve stopped putting God first for a long while (a few years), and everything has since been going downhill. So there’s really no better time to start turning things around by first putting Him first.

So, even though there’s a part of me that didn’t feel like getting out of bed this morning, I laid on my bed and I asked God to give me His strength and courage to get out of bed, so that I can go face everything that I needed to face today. I also asked for His grace. Because Lord knows, I’m going to need a whole lot of it for everything that I’m trying to overcome. But ofcourse, like in my previous entries this week, I know that I don’t have to face my challenges by myself. Not anymore. I know that God is with me. And we will be facing and overcoming those challenges together. Amen.

The 2nd verse that also speaks to me a lot, is verse 34, “So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.”

So the message is really quite simple, “Now that you have decided to put God first in your life, stop worrying about everything that could/would/might happen tomorrow. Instead, choose to focus on what you can do today.”

See, being someone with chronic anxiety disorder, I know all there is to know about chronic worrying. Because I do that so much I can practically do it for the both of us…just kidding. Seriously, I do worry a lot sometimes, but it can be kinda ridiculous also because I would sometimes worry about things that turned out to be nothing really. It’s just stuff that might happen, or maybe could happen. Thinking about all the “what ifs” is also the thing that cripples me the most. It freezes my mind, zaps away all of my attention and energy, leaving me with almost nothing left to actually do the things that I could’ve done that day.

Actually, now when I think about it, I’ve had many of such days in the last few years. So many days where I just did nothing else but worry about all the “what ifs”. Yeah, trust me, it is not the way to live man. I’ve wasted so much time already.

As I choose to focus on God today, and to place Him first, ahead of everything else in my life, I am also choosing to trust that He will help me in dealing with many of the challenges and troubles in my life. Freeing my mind & energy for the day, so that I can go focus on the things I can actually accomplish today.

Personal Prayer for Today

Dear Heavenly Father,

I come before you this morning, humbled by everything that You have revealed to me about myself, and how I had been living in recent years.

Thank You for giving me the strength and courage to face the challenges and difficulties in my life today, also because I trust that I never have to face them all by myself. Because I know that You are always with me.

I come before You today, choosing to put You first in my life, not because I know I will get everything that I need from You. But because I remember how good life was when I was able to put You first.

I long for that more than anything else, a life that is much closer to You every single day.

I once again surrender all of my worries and anxieties into Your hands. And I receive your peace in exchange so that I can focus my mind and energy on all the things that I can accomplish today.

I vow to give You all of the praise. In Jesus’ name I pray.

Amen.